Whether you're new, visiting, or just really itching to get involved in our community, it helps to know your way around! Please make use of our up-to-date listing of prominent business owners, politicians, and favorite employees found in and around the Falls, and be sure to ask everyone for their autographs!
But don't let anyone charge you for it. They know better than that.
There's been an Ellerby behind the counter of Pizza Pi(e)rates since the day pepperoni rolls were invented, and, Squatch willing, there always will be. Some people don't get our Bruno — he's big, he's gruff, he's a real stickler for the craft of Pirating Pizzas, but our Springtime Festivities wouldn't be the same without him and his accordion.
It's hard to believe Clara and the Gastrognome weren't always fixtures of Elflock Falls! With a bubbly personality and love of literary puns, Clara Puddifoot made a real splash when she came to town a few years ago, and now we can't remember life without her. Well, her or her Hans Christian Flanderson.
It ain’t easy being the Falls’ favorite fry cook, which is probably why it’s so dang hard to get this gal out from behind that grill. Luckily, the only thing Dez loves more than her Dining Room is her staff, who know they can count on her for anything, whether it's a heart-to-heart or a pageant judge they need. Let's face it, it's the closest she'll ever come to taking a vacation.
As Elflock Falls’ most resourceful businessman, nothing's too hard to find for the one and only Mr. Potts, and more than one gardener fighting back flesh-eating slugs is grateful for it. Though he’d never admit it, Doc is an inspiration to anyone in this town who thinks they could never be a successful business owner without a high school education, or a full set of teeth.
A tireless champion of literacy (and soldier of silence), Gilda really does what she can with the funding she’s got. Whether it's running adult literacy classes or painting the library herself when we couldn't take the color anymore, Gilda is involved in literally every aspect of this library. Please support the annual book sale, your local library desperately needs a new carpet, this one has so many stains on it.
It’s impossible to fool Jarvis Shamburger. Anyone who’s ever tried to return something without a receipt, call in “sick” with a hangover, or swear they didn’t realize this was the express line knows that Jarv is a no-nonsense kind of guy. He runs one heck of a store, though; for possibly the first time in Dis & Dat history, the floors are clean, checkout is fast, and my organic pepperoni rolls are always in stock.
Every time I see June, she has a new accessory I never knew I needed. Somehow, she always knows exactly what will take my outfit from drab to fab and if we weren’t living in more enlightened times she’d be burned at the stake for it. Not that I’d tell her otherwise; she wears enough rings to give someone a serious concussion.
Every animal, big and small, from wild to mild, loves Dr. Kraus. Like a real life Disney princess, she can soothe the most savage beast and have it hanging her laundry by the end of the day. She’s just not quite as good with the people, so if you’ve got a problem with your bill or adoption policies, maybe talk to someone in the office.
If this is your first visit to Elflock Falls, you have to make time to pop by our thrift store and talk to their very handsome new shift manager, Kyle. He may come across a little surly at first, but he's got a steady job, a good head on his shoulders, and, better yet, he's single!
If you have the time, and you're not too distracted by the flashing arcade games in the corner, ask Lir about his President Du Pont impression. The only thing more surprising than our town's most taciturn businessman's mimicry skills is the revelation that he actually has a sense of humor. I wonder why he still won't laugh at my jokes.
We all loved Mayor T-Bone the Cat; he did some great things for our city, despite a lack of opposable thumbs. It’s just good to have someone who behind the desk who can read again, and Mayor Hull’s speeches are downright rousing. I can’t even remember the last time we all got so excited to unveil the town Christmas tree.
Mr. Pompel would like to use this space to say he is looking to re-home his classic Quigley racing broom. Barely used, fair condition, might still have some embarrassing stickers on it. 5 dragots or best offer, please inquire at the shop. Please do not inquire with Mr. Swint.
Mr. Swint would like to use this space to say that the classic Quigley racing broom is NOT in need of a new home, it is in VERY good condition, and the Hobgoblins stickers are part of the vintage charm. If it WAS for sale, it would be worth MUCH more than 5 measly dragots, and anyone caught inquiring about it will be barred from the shop.
Chief Tan knows every party place in these hills and she is watching you kids. She’s watching you adults, too. The message here is: Chief Tan may be new on the job, and she may be a little sensitive about being underestimated, but she’s ready. And she’s watching all of you.
Every year, students from the local high school decide to test their luck and fake IDs at our liquor store, only to find what looks like one of their teachers behind the counter. It’s hilarious. Sometimes it seems like Zed works to support his romance novel habit, but surely no one in town has ever used his distraction to their advantage.
If you haven’t met Zippy, you haven’t experienced Elflock Falls! This master of malts and “Muggle Magic” was once the mayor of our little town. While his enthusiasm for civil engagement and every aspect of our community hasn’t faded, he says he finds a tiny bit more joy in the art of scooping ice cream these days.
The bright young minds of Malstrom Academy are all destined for big things, and not just because their parents all have ties to the MACUSA. Go Storm Riders!
Some notable Storm Riders: Anastasia Zebrowski, Iago Goodliffe, Constantine Obama
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peckishmods) wrote2019-05-14 08:09 pm
